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buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

0 posted 2006-09-13 02:30 PM

goodbye
means so little
to a person
who says it too much
so when you said
goodbye
to me
did you care
that you broke my heart?
i think not.
goodbye
to you
and don't think
that i
even care anymore
that you left
it was foolish
to let you in
goodbye
for now?
no, goodbye
for good
so i hope you have a great time
with the next girl in your "book"
oh, yeah, one more thing.

goodbye.

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

nostalgic*pride
Member

since 2006-08-23

Posts 122
NowhereVille

1 posted 2006-09-13 02:35 PM

Ooh, I really like this one a lot. I'm sorta going through the same thing, just in a different perspective. And- just because I feel really guilty- sorry- again- for the critique I left you on ...ECT...

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

2 posted 2006-09-13 02:43 PM

no no no!! its ok! i like critique! its ok, i was a little confused, but don't feel guilty its ok!
and thanks=)

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-09-14 02:00 PM

Hi buttercupbaby,

Wow! I mean WOW! I loved the matter of fact way you talked in this poem, no beating around the bush, just straight out there, saying what you think.

"goodbye
means so little
to a person
who says it too much
so when you said
goodbye
to me
did you care
that you broke my heart?
i think not."

This part is my favorite because it really shows that matter of fact stuff I was talking about above^^ Also, because the flow is just amazing and I loved the attitude in this part especially...

Thanks for sharing! I hope to see more soon

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
@-->---

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2006-09-14 06:12 PM

"goodbye
means so little
to a person
who says it too much"

Oh, wow, I just loved these opening lines, I can't even explain it.
Awesome, awesome work on this one! Definately enjoyed reading it.

~Alli~

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

5 posted 2006-09-14 06:47 PM

haha, thanks so much y'all! im really glad y'all liked it! personally, im either good at writing really short poems, or really long ones, so im glad y'all liked this short one, cause i didn't think it was that great!
but thanks alot=)

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