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Teen Poetry #4
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Her love, her love...
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Her love, her love... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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I swept the asphalt with my feet I walked below the grayish skies I turned and faced the wind to plead, “What do I need, what do I need?” And it replied, “Her eyes, her eyes...” I heard the wind and froze in place The world around me seemed so bleak I faced the sun and asked, half-dazed, “What do I seek? What do I seek?” And it replied, “Her face, her face...” It seemed my sorrow had no ends Behind me, gold leaves would drag I asked the cloud, in a trance, “What do I lack? What do I lack?” And it replied, “Her hands, her hands...” The sky was dark and winds were rough As lightening struck and thunder groaned I asked the rain from high above “What do I want? What do I want?” And it replied, “Her love, her love...” Check out my poetry here: http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Beautiful sentiments Master ... your intriguing use of repetition worked well in this piece, nicely done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow I thought this was simply amazing. Nicely done here!!! I really enjoyed this poem!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nicely done Master. This really stuck out for me: "It seemed my sorrow had no ends Behind me, gold leaves would drag I asked the cloud, in a trance, “What do I lack? What do I lack?” And it replied, “Her hands, her hands...”" Keep on amazing us. ~AF~ "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!" Homer Simpson |
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starryeyed999 Junior Member
since 2001-03-05
Posts 35 |
Ahhhh...that was so sweet! Exactly how I felt but everytime it said Her, I had to replace it with Him. I still love you JH! Great and inpiring writing! <*Lacy*> "I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either. I'll get back to you." |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I swept the asphalt with my feet I walked below the grayish skies I turned and faced the wind to plead, “What do I need, what do I need?” And it replied, “Her eyes, her eyes...” beautiful! |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Hey! Wow, I love all your work, and this one I particularly like, but I don't know why! You're a god of words my friend, I bow to you ! "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey Master, This is a really great poem I liked it alot i hope to read more just as good. Laters -- Linc "The goal is not allways the the reason something is done the path to get to the goal is more important." |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I am totally speechless right now my jaw fell on the floor *~gives a standing ovation*~ "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
ok...all these ahppy love poems jsut make me relise taht NO ONE loves me *sulks in the corner* Great poem, btw i dont know if i should cry because its over, or smile because it happened |
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