| Open Poetry #42 |
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To pain, in the aftermath |
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Adonis Cross Junior Member
since 2003-04-07
Posts 46Miami, FL, USA |
I said you were a most unwelcome guest the day you introduced yourself as pain, and yet you come to visit me again, a falcon shrewdly swooping on a nest before there lives a moment to protest or fly away, no time to try in vain, delaying what will come; I must remain immobile as you tear into my chest. It's after your attack, when I am spent, I notice you commit your worst offense, for when I take my pen, to document what happened here, to make a little sense of it, I ask you, "what was your intent?" and hear the silence of indifference. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Adonis Cross - All Rights Reserved | |||
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
I enjoyed the poem and the personality to pain. You changed your ryhmn scheme in the second stanza--still a very good read. Thanks sharyn |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine wriitng..James |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
You describe pain very well. Pain does make itself known in a very real but impersonal way. Ida |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Adonis~ I can soooo feel this~ Brava ! ![]() *Huglets* ![]() ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Very good. Clever one. Love the read. |
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