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Dark Poetry #5

Sadness

chylenedoney
Junior Member

since 2010-10-14

Posts 27
Idaho, USA

0 posted 2010-12-01 04:07 PM

Tears stream long trails down my cheek
I am ashamed I am weak
No cure to mend my broken heart
It is hopeless,
For it should never have been broken from the start

Blackwidowgurl

[This message has been edited by chylenedoney (12-02-2010 04:12 PM).]

pyre
Member

since 2008-05-16

Posts 136

1 posted 2010-12-02 01:03 AM

Maybe in the last line you could have broken it at "For" to start a new line.

Does she pray, or am I prey?

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

2 posted 2011-02-01 12:18 PM

Good advice. Good poem.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

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