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Teen Poetry #9
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bloody mask (iambic meter)
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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bloody mask (iambic meter) |
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nina1522 Member
since 2009-02-14
Posts 189 |
This is a revised version of an earlier poem i wrote. it is in iambic meter. This smile's a foreign grin, my muscles start to rip. The skin begins the crack. my blood begins to drip. This laugh's a painful lump, it's burning in my chest. My lungs begin to crack The blood starts to infest This place is troubling Carefree, I dont recall the mask begins to crack my blood again will fall. (thanks turtle) |
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| © Copyright 2009 nina1522 - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is WICKED good!!  |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
I agree!! Very good!! -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Not bad at all Nina. Well done. (Not sure about the inversion in the last line, but that's only a tiny point). M |
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nina1522 Member
since 2009-02-14
Posts 189 |
thanks. |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
Awesome Job, Nina!!! "I can't see my forehead!" -Patrick |
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nina1522 Member
since 2009-02-14
Posts 189 |
hey! sorry i havnt been able to talk i just have a LOT of conditioning. we have to talk soon. haha o and thank :] |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
Oh, that's okay, but we do need to talk. I think I have an awesome group name, anyways, I've already sent you some emails, I think. "I can't see my forehead!" -Patrick |
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