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meganne_77
Junior Member

since 2009-04-15

Posts 14
Oklahoma

0 posted 2009-05-06 09:53 PM

the betrayal

piercing words
that stabbed Me
like swords.

tore My heart in two
tore My world down

Me, crying
not believing the words
I
am hearing, not believing
you would betray Me
the way you did

piercing words
that stabbed Me
like swords

tore Me in two

Burned My heart
My soul

you didnt care if I was hurting or not.

Me, crying
realizing the truth
You betrayed Me, killed My heart and hurt Me
so I am forever crying on the inside

I didn't believe you world hurt Me
but
you
did.

Barbie

meganne_77
Junior Member

since 2009-04-15

Posts 14
Oklahoma

1 posted 2009-05-06 09:55 PM

This is my first poem please comment..

moonbeam

Member Elite

since 2005-12-24

Posts 2356

2 posted 2009-05-07 03:40 AM

Hi meganne

This is obviously a very heartfelt poem.

Hopefully you will continue posting here. The people are nice, and you might learn a lot too.

Lots of Welcomes to Passions in Poetry

M

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

3 posted 2009-05-07 11:31 AM

Welcome to Pip!!!

Nice poem, I can really relate.

You laugh because I'm different...
I laugh cause I just farted!

moonbeam

Member Elite

since 2005-12-24

Posts 2356

4 posted 2009-05-09 10:46 AM

Welcome to Passions

It's great to see you posting here . I look forward to reading more of your poetry and your responses. Hopefully we can all learn and enjoy together. (Please check your e-mail for a special greeting).

All the best.

Rob - Moderator/Passions in Poetry

Kalysta
Junior Member

since 2009-04-02

Posts 41
Ohio

5 posted 2009-05-17 10:13 PM

Hey a good first write. Its nice to have you at PIP. Keep writing.
~Kalysta~

~Kalysta~

nehematala
Member

since 2009-05-21

Posts 129

6 posted 2009-05-21 04:08 PM

i can't relate to this poem (yet) but its really good

Rosie_Orange
Junior Member

since 2009-04-20

Posts 46
South Africa

7 posted 2009-05-22 03:27 PM

love the format! honest yet brutal... i like it

meganne_77
Junior Member

since 2009-04-15

Posts 14
Oklahoma

8 posted 2009-06-20 05:37 PM

Thank you everybody for critiquing my poem. I had lost my internet but, I'm back! Thanks for the comments.

Barbie

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