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navwin » Main Forums » Open Poetry #50 » fantasy for a brunette
Open Poetry #50
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2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
0 posted 2018-07-27 08:52 PM

Which brunette darker than a pearl,
The eyes wait that we ignate them,
Stretched out as an impertinent cat,
Her desire of storms could flood my soul.

[This message has been edited by 2islander2 (07-28-2018 01:46 PM).]
© Copyright 2018 yann rolland - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2018-07-28 11:14 AM

I don't know how constructive this so-called "critique and exchange" is to you, but it sounds as though you have it quite bad . . . Hope you and that brunette can find each other.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
2 posted 2018-07-28 01:05 PM

thanks jerry for the comment, it was just a lust poem about a girl i don't know, just an imagined picture


have a nice we
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navwin » Main Forums » Open Poetry #50 » fantasy for a brunette

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