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Critical Analysis #1
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Candle
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Candle |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL 
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You have been my candle always Through the darkest storms and seas Your flame has always burned Through the strongest breeze You've guided me through foggy nights Your light has never failed And when I wanted to give up The persistence prevailed So please continue to be my light The candle in my hand For the next time I lose my way By my side I know you'll stand What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jessica Langford - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Once again, I think your flow is really good- the biggest problem I had with this was the analogy of a candle with hope, and hope with a specific person, because it's almost become a standard. Maybe you could innovate on the general idea, take it in a new direction- like, what kind of a candle is this person? how does he/she burn? how have you been guided- by what aspects of the candle? Also, a note on conflicting imagery- in the last stanza, this person is described in one line as a candle in your hand, and in the next as standing by your side. It's kind of jarring to go from metaphor to reality- I was still picturing the candle, and now I'm picturing a life-sized candle melting next to you- probably not the image you set out to create.  just a few random ideas. I hope it helps. everything's fine. |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
Thanks Hush...  What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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