»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
Yawn
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Yawn |
|
|
haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA 
|
Opening my mouth taking morning in full breath Words fall out Drip across your cheek wet sliding kisses Lax follows your hand wiping them away. ~haze |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Haze McElhenny - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Your poetry is full of hints, Haze ... drives us left-brainers to padded cells.  I get the impression that there is a rejection of sorts taking place here. The last two lines ring a bit of disappointment and hurt. I can't figure out the significance of the word "Lax", however. You set it apart from the other words so I can't help but to think there is something about it that is important to the reader. This is a good piece. Thanks for the read. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
||
|
haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
Hi Jim... Thank you...hee hee...I do have a padded cell poem about...(can't post it here tho) http://hazeydaze_36.tripod.com/underground/underground.html first at the top... I could have done this like this: Opening my mouth taking morning in full breath Words fall out Drip across your cheek wet sliding kisses Lax follows your hand wiping them away. ~haze" and still might (thanks to your suggestion) hint hint hint I like to lead your imagination...so i give...enough, not too much, a tease a taste and you fill in the blanks... TA...Thankies...~haze |
||
|
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Wasn't referring to THAT kind of padded cell *blush*. Geeze! Thanks for the explanation. Makes the meaning much more clear. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
