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My Death
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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My Death |
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Slim Shady Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 32Phoenix, AZ, USA |
"My Death" Once the time comes, For me to say my last prayer. When my suffering stops, And when I no longer care. I hope in my life, I have made someone proud. And I hope that God sends me, Up to those heavenly clouds. I hope I lived well, And did the best I could do. I hope someone loved me, Now that my time is through. I hope I was successful, And more understood before I died. I hope someone mourns my death, And I hope people know I tried. I hope I had fun, And made it fun for others too, I hope I changed someone's life, And I hope my mistakes were few. I hope I am a Dad, And I hope that my kid loves me, And I hope they never know, The pain I've had to see. I hope I was myself, And had a life long friend. Once I accomplish all these things, Then my life will be ready to end. ------------------ The Slim Shady |
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| © Copyright 1999 Slim Shady - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Slim Shady Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 32Phoenix, AZ, USA |
I'm also curious if anyone knows where I could find information about getting my poems published, or entering them into a contest. Anyone info on this, or comments on my poem will be very helpful. ------------------ "That's Rock Bottom When this life makes you mad enough to kill... That's Rock Bottom When you want something bad enough you'll steal... That's Rock Bottom When you feel you have had it up to here Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear" Words by the Slim Shady |
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PartiStarks Junior Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 38Brooklyn, NY |
Slim Shady, I like "My Death" but I like "That's Rock Bottom" more. You sould complete that poem and post it. I only see on problem with "That's Rock Bottom" so far. The last verse is not consistent. It reads,"Cause you mad........" when it should stay consistent with the rest of the poem and read,"That's Rock Bottom". |
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Slim Shady Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 32Phoenix, AZ, USA |
any comments? Slim - I would greatly appreciate it if you would clean up the language in your signature (and anywhere else in your posts). Thank you. (Ron) [This message has been edited by rcarnell (edited 08-11-99).] |
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Mya15 Junior Member
since 1999-07-19
Posts 16Sunrise,Fl,33351 |
I don't think that Slim should really have to clean up anything because poetry is from the authors point... if it's beautiful to him then it's beautiful. -- Great job on your poem and signature  . I was truly touched and I hope to have the same type of lyfstyle too before I die. Again, good job  -- |
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Slim Shady Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 32Phoenix, AZ, USA |
Thanks mya! Sorry Ron about the signature...Now I put "*" inplace of some letters. I hope that is good enough for you, because I would really like to keep the signature. (See the new version below) ------------------ "For all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunt's for you To all the people I've offended - yeah f*** you too! To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past But the rest of you a**holes can KISS MY A**! For all the drugs that I've done - yo I'm still gon' do To all the people I've offended - yeah f*** you too! For everytime I reminisce - yo I miss my past But I still don't give a f***, y'all can KISS MY A**!" Words by the Slim Shady |
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