»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #1
»
new to writing poetry, please let me know what you think?
| Open Poetry #1 |
|
new to writing poetry, please let me know what you think? |
|
|
denboro Junior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 12 |
Hi everyone, Recently, I have had the wonderful pleasure of meeting an incredible woman online, and although I have yet to meet her in person, she has touched my heart like no other  . I wrote a couple of poems relating to her, and I was just wondering what anyone out there thought of them? Please feel free to offer any suggestions, comments, or other regarding the poems. Here they are..........ANGELS There comes a time in everyone's life, when we look for something to ease our strife, some say that angels don't exist, but I for one find it hard to resist, that for each and everyone of us, there are angels who help us learn to trust, that courage, faith, strength, and love, comes in all shapes and forms, not just from above, so I send you this poem from the bottom of my heart, you've been my angel from the start. MISSING YOU I lie awake in bed each night, wanting to hold you in my arms so tight, your warmth and passion fills my soul, look into my eyes and then you will know, that with each kiss and beat of my heart, our love will only grow stronger even while we are apart, I know we have only just begun, but my heart beats bright like the mid-day sun, no words can express what I am feeling inside, you fill my soul with such passion and pride, and although tonight I can only hope and pray, with God's help there will soon come a day, where we share a bond of love so powerful and true, but until then I can only dream of being with you. Ok, don't be too harsh (lol). Thank you for your comments .rookie poetry writer ,Dennis [This message has been edited by denboro (edited 07-27-99).] |
||
| © Copyright 1999 denboro - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Delores Hall Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342USA |
I thought they were wonderful.To be in love is something everyone needs.Happy writing. |
||
|
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Being relatively new as well, I'm not one to critique another's writing with any authority. I'll say that they were enjoyable to read. I am particularly fond of "Angels." "Missing You" seems to be more appropriate for a longer term relationship, but then that's just me. Speak from that heart or your's and you will do well. |
||
|
denboro Junior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 12 |
Delores, Without love, there seems to be no sun, and the stars seem so distant, but with it, there is joy, happiness, wonderful tears to wipe away, and the pounding of another ones heart to keep you warm; thank you for that wonderful commment. I too think love is the greatest......thanks . |
||
|
denboro Junior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 12 |
Andrew, Thank you, and yes, I too think Missing you is for a longer term relationship, but I guess I just wrote what was in my heart at the time . I sent that Angel poem to a wonderful lady on the internet, and she put it on her webpage; she did a great job with it. If you would like to see it, here is the address.........http://www.thebearypatch.com/angel24.htm. Take care .Dennis |
||
|
Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
I thought your poems were very beautiful, and the recipient will be delighted I'm sure. |
||
|
denboro Junior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 12 |
Hi Lost Dreamer, Thank you very much, and I can only hope and pray that I have touched her like she has touched me; god, she is so incredibly beautiful, and not only on the outside. Don't ever stop dreaming........take care, and god bless |
||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very beautiful..to have poems written for you by someone is truly a grand thing (I have recently found that out). Exellent, I can't wait for more of your work. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "I will sail my vessel 'till the river runs dry, like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky..." Garth Brooks |
||
|
Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
Wonderful!! ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
It seems you have a very nice talent. I am pretty new at this too. My poems are spiritual ones. I think you have done a great job. Hope to see more! |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
There is no greater form of flattery than to dedicate a poem to another. You flatter her very nicely. |
||
|
denboro Junior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 12 |
Krista, Lily, WhtDove, Balladeer, Thank you so much for making my evening . I am really beginning to like writing poetry, and I truly believe that if you write what is in your heart, that there can never be a bad poem . I look forward to reading your work too, and dont ever be a stranger, email me with your work. Take care, and god bless. Oh, and Whtdove, I would love to read some of your spiritual work? Balladeer, you are so right about that comment . She is the one who flatters me with her smile .[This message has been edited by denboro (edited 07-28-99).] |
||
|
INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Thank you for posting a part of you. I find poetry best when it comes from a sincere heart...no matter what the form. Let your heart speak...... |
||
|
angel girl Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322within a whisper... |
Aawww. I'm sure this woman will be thrilled to receive some of your work. She'd have to be crazy not to be. |
||
|
denboro Junior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 12 |
INclan, Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, and yes, I agree with speaking from the heart........y'know, maybe if people would stop and listen to their hearts before they spoke, there would be a lot less violence in this world. You have brightened my day with your words, and I know they came from your heart. |
||
|
denboro Junior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 12 |
Angel girl, Hi there . Thank you so much for the wonderful comments, and let me just say, I love your username . I'm sure you have many angelic qualities, and I would love to read anything that you have written. Take care, and once again, thank you . |
||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
For someone new to writing poetry, these are very good! As you write more and more, you get even better. This woman is very lucky to have someone to write such sweet poetry for her! I am sure she will love these. In fact, maybe you should let us know what she thinks of them.  |
||
|
denboro Junior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 12 |
Hi Elizabeth, You are kind with your words, and yes, I think I would love to continue exploring my poetic side; gosh, I wonder what my 10th grade English teacher would think of these poems? . I wrote these poems in one evening, and I was amazed at how easy the words left my heart, and landed on the screen . Elizabeth, she was speechless . She has touched my heart so, and I truly know that I am the lucky one when it comes to this relationship . Her smile is like a spear carved from the hardest stone........very penetrating. Don't worry, her spear warms me in ways I have never been warmed, and her sexy giggle gives me those things called "goosebumps"......she is wonderful. Thank you again so much for your sweet words, you definately put a major league smile on my face . Take care and god bless. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||