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Open Poetry #1

Every Step

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

0 posted 1999-08-14 06:24 AM

Every Step

I walk,
and walk,
and walk,
oblivious
to my
surroundings.
Every step
further
from reality.
Every step
a minute
of time gone.
Every step
I took
for you.

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

1 posted 1999-08-14 10:55 AM

I think we've all taken some of those steps in our lifetime....

pandora
Member

since 1999-07-26

Posts 184

2 posted 1999-08-14 11:48 AM

I like the lines "Every stop/ a minute/ of time gone". Step right up to the mike, LD, your voice is loud and clear. In a few short words, you've expressed anger, pain, heartache and gave the reader a glimpse into your heart. Nice one. I like the length of it, too.

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

3 posted 1999-08-14 04:05 PM

Nan: Thanks for your response, I was feeling kind of down when I wrote this, like
pandora recognized.

pandora: Thank-you also for your response, Your perception was right on.

thursdayschild
Member

since 1999-07-01

Posts 169
Houston, Tx.

4 posted 1999-08-14 04:54 PM

So much emotion expressed in so few words.
Good work, I understand those weary feet.

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

5 posted 1999-08-15 01:20 PM

thursdayschild: Thank You, your compliment is appreciated.

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