Thank you, my deceiver - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

0 posted 1999-10-23 07:11 PM

Thank you, my deceiver,
For opening my eyes;
You paved the path into my heart
With finely-crafted lies.

You made me a believer;
Convinced me I could love --
Enwrapped me in the silken strands
That dreams are fashioned of.

I never thought to question
This delicate control;
Your hands had known my body,
Your heart had claimed my soul.

Perhaps you never loved me,
Your feelings were a lie;
Regardless, they have changed me
In ways I can't deny.

Though I no longer want you,
Your touch renewed my heart --
I've gathered up the pieces
And made a hopeful start.

I guess I should be bitter
At the treatment I've received:
But who has gained the most, I ask:
Deceiver -- or deceived?

------------------
You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.

Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

1 posted 1999-10-23 07:24 PM

Well done and well stated...

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us.
>Stendhal

RSEvans
Senior Member

since 1999-10-23

Posts 1147
Tulsa, OK, USA

2 posted 1999-10-23 07:30 PM

Well put. When saying better to have loved and lost, keep in mind that without both you would have known neither.

------------------
On the wings of day-bright dreams...

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

3 posted 1999-10-23 07:36 PM

Excellent Skyfrye! I enjoyed this!

------------------
Denise

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

4 posted 1999-10-23 07:45 PM

Thank you ...

Kitty**
Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 428
Charlottesville,VA USA

5 posted 1999-10-23 07:48 PM

This was great..I've felt the same way!!
You stated it very well.

------------------
Kitty**

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

6 posted 1999-10-23 08:20 PM

Excellent!! Not only was the subject matter well expressed, but also your meter and rhyme are absolutely perfect. One suggestion.....get this one out to a publisher. If you need an idea, e-mail me and I'll give you the name of one I can assure you will take this piece.

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

7 posted 1999-10-23 08:26 PM

Well done. Liked this much!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

8 posted 1999-10-23 08:51 PM

Excellently written piece this is and well can I empathize with it.

------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

9 posted 1999-10-23 09:06 PM

Better than excellent. Superbly crafted with substance.

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

10 posted 1999-10-23 10:09 PM

Many thanks ... your words are the wine that intoxicates this poor poet's soul.

--K.

Starith
Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 176
Leesburg, FL USA

11 posted 1999-10-23 11:52 PM

Very nicely done. You will go far here I think.

Star

------------------
We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

12 posted 1999-10-24 02:29 AM

Excellent poem. I think you should take hoot up on her offer...this is just great...and hits home with me.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 727
Wisconsin

13 posted 1999-10-24 04:01 AM

Unfortunately, this is too often the case. We think we know love, but then find out some way or another that it is just a game. It hurts, and there is no way to prepare for the pain.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

14 posted 1999-10-24 04:48 AM

Hmmmm...the deceived I think, for they usually try to rise above..

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

15 posted 1999-10-24 11:18 AM

Masterfully done!! An excellent piece!!

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

16 posted 1999-10-24 05:14 PM

More wine for your soul from me. This was so very well done. We gain so many lessons from the pain we feel. I say the deceived wins.

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

17 posted 1999-10-24 05:24 PM

"Inebriate of air am I,
And debauche of dew;
Reeling through endless summer days
From inns of molten blue."

--Dickinson, "I taste a liquor never brewed"

I am truly drunk on all these responses -- thank you all so much!

-- Kesslynne

------------------
You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.