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Teen Poetry #2
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I Think I Died Today" which is better?
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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I Think I Died Today" which is better? |
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Powder Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 20Illinois, USA |
I Think I Died Today I gave up who I was today, It seemed I sold my soul. I tried to be like Them today, I turned my heart to coal. There seemed no other way, I think I died today. I tried to hard to change today, I showed that I was weak. I gave Them what they want today, It hurt to be a freak. There seemed no other way, I think I died today. I tried to be popular today, So I out my dreams away. There seemed no other way, I think I died today. or: I Think I Died Today I gave Them what they want today, It seemed I sold my soul. I tried to be like Them today, I turned my heart to coal. There seemed no other way, I think I died today. I tried to hard to change today, I showed that I was weak. I gave up who I was today, So as not to be a freak. There seemed no other way, I think I died today. I tried to be popular today, So put my dreams away. There seemed no other way, I think I died today. Any ideas would be a great help! [This message has been edited by Powder (edited 04-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Adam Cebulski - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
i dig it. i only hope this is NOT a true story! don't sell out. be true to you. "i never wanna be normal like you" -art alexakis We all got somethin' we need to atone for. |
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bulletproof2312 Junior Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 28Beaumont Tx, 77707 |
Wow, reality check, you made me think about how i act and who I really am... just a personal not i like the first beginning, it seemed to flow a little better, i'm no exspert but anyway.... cool poem. "Here I stand I can do none other"---Luther |
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poe_32 Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 179Winnipeg, MB, Canada |
I liked the first one, it flowed better than the second one. But I totally understand what you meant, society tries to make us look "normal" to their standards. Personnally I think if someone wants to dress a certain way thats fine becuase they are comfortable with it and it shows their personality. I dress the way I want and not the way others want me to dress, I feel better about myself if I dress the way I want and I feel comfortable. This was a very good poem. keep writing your really talented!smiles  poe  |
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son of man Member
since 2000-04-25
Posts 125 |
hey man, ilike the first better too. but #2 was cool as well. just keep a draft of both. dont compromise who you are, but who you are may not be who you think you are. |
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huney_mel Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 52 |
this is a great poem, its so true! But i tried to be like that, but i was trying to get out of the good group cos they were all assholes! So be yourself in whatever you do and you will always shine through! Love mel  |
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Midnight Junior Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 28 |
Number one was really good, I liked it a lot...and I can really empathize with what you are going through. |
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Powder Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 20Illinois, USA |
Thanks for all the input, I really appreciate it. I guess I try not to live like this but deep down everyone wants to be accepted; some just more than others. [This message has been edited by Powder (edited 05-01-2000).] |
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rachella Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 39Indiana |
Hey, this was good. The style was nice and I personally like #1. I have thought about this topic many times and I have also written poems concerning this. I believe people wear so many masks until they forget who they are w/out it. We can't let that happen. Excellent work. ~rachella |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Hmm...hard to choose....welcome to the family! Please check your email for a special message.  |
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Seysi New Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 8kortrijk in belgium |
i understand you, it's not easy to fit in i like your poem very much! |
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Rachel8383 Junior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 44 |
i liked them both, i understand you totally, though i hope you didn't just be what they want you to be. personally i think they're both great, the choice is up to you, great job rachel |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
It is very hard to choose. Welcome to Passions. I will be looking forward to seeing more from you. |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
~~~ #1 ~~~ Nice writing ~~~ Welcome to Passions! dh A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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