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Confusion
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Confusion |
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abra-cadabra Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 75Florissant, Missouri, USA |
My heart weeps Singing a gentle tune Whispering winds Among the trees An old lady Self image of me Soon to be Some years from now Unconditional love and trust A yearning to be within The great walls That surround thee My heart cries My broken song of love Song of laughter, joy Bitter-sweet song of sorrow An old man Image of my mate Too far away A lost soul in time The great walls That stand gaurd around thy heart Crumble to the ground Opening thy gate [This message has been edited by abra-cadabra (edited 01-23-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jamie Perano - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kitty Junior Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 20Paris, Ontario, Canada |
wow, great poem I can really feel the sorrow. He has made everything beautiful in its time Ecclesiastes 3:11 Kitty |
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Oo0ostephanio0oO Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194Massachusetts ~USA~ |
Teah, this WAS very well written. You wrote such good descriptive words.  Keep it up!(:***Stephani***:) "A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end." |
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Oo0ostephanio0oO Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194Massachusetts ~USA~ |
TYPO! TEAH IS SUPPOSED TO BE YEAH. SORRY! (:***Stephani***:) "A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end." |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Exellent work! I liked this one a lot. *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
i like it  very good imagery... plus i like the use of the elizabethan language (something i tend to favor in my own writing)... the last line is superb... "opening thy gate"... it just drives the meaning home... wonderful job sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
I have to agree with Jerome on this one. I to am a big fan of the Elizabethan era and the language. I really enjoy the exurb "My heart cries, My broken song of love, Song of laughter, joy Bitter-sweet song of sorrow." Great job! |
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eve_angel Junior Member
since 2000-01-22
Posts 23Australia |
this poem has lots of emotion and is very touching. It's great. |
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