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Teen Poetry #2
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Death do we part
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Death do we part |
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Ender Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200Yuma, AZ USA 
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Death Do We Part For you I dream Of the days to come When we will be together And never alone It will be joyous And fun Love will be in the air And tensions will be low It will be like a dream But until that day comes We will be apart With only our memories In our heart Just remember one thing I love you till death do we part |
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| © Copyright 2000 Richard Melick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
I like. I like very much! Memories are precious and so is love. I also have someone whom I will NOT give up on. Keep writing and lovng.... ....and  |
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Smore Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 67el paso |
this is very good, most often if you belive in dreams they will come true. Love isn't a miracle in life, the miracle of life is love. |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
ender: i really really liked the way this poem started off, but i feel that it loses a lot of the tragic and mythic feeling as it draws towards the end... you do a fairly good job of drawing the reader back to the original (and very intriguing) statements at the beginning by your use of the last line, but i somehow feel that you need a few more lines to lead up to the final line... a few more that draw the reader back into this magical allusion you made at the beginning... very good job, despite what i've said, however... sincerely, jerome the boy with the blue thumb A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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