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'Oh Mow Is Me " / " 'Till Comes The Frost "
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'Oh Mow Is Me " / " 'Till Comes The Frost " |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Invading hoard on spring-time's heels / A billion men to one against vast armies blazoned o' the green / Incessantly they grow more dense My saber sharp shall swath thy ranks / before the night-bird's heard to call with brutish force of a machine / I vow that I shall smite them all . " Off with their heads !" my battle cry / I charge full speed into the fray they fall beneath my blade in rows / no mercy shall be shown this day The yellow helmet officers / the toughest fighters of the lot gone sep'rate ways from head to toes / decapitated on the spot This war shall rage 'till Gen'ral White / once summoned from the land up north arrives in force to stem the tide / no more will I need venture forth I straddle ol' eleven horse / my armored steed and I both pray fire up the beast and ride , ride , ride , / to live to fight another day . I must protect the scenery / against these armies at all costs therefore ( ergo ) oh mow is me ! / ' till when has come the killing frost |
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| © Copyright 2001 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Have to get back to you Doc., but my first reaction was...  To find out if that's good or bad, you must wait and see.  Right now I have a major web crisis on my hands, which must be solved within a week. Just when I thought I was done!  |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Sonnets a la Moose! Yeah!  I think you did a great job with this. I like the poems separately and really like it as one, and love how you worked with the end rhyme.However, I do have some remarks. Although I can find nothing wrong with the line "before the night-bird's heard to call", I find it very difficult to pronounce this line without my tongue getting into a double knot.  Of course this could very well be the foreign tongue I speak with and probably no one else is having any difficulty with it. I feel I must protest against "ride, ride, ride"! No matter how often I read it, it always reads as "RIDE, RIDE, RIDE" and not once as "RIDE, ride, RIDE". No cheating in this class Doc....  (MwahahahahanI always wanted to say that!  )Be careful with too many abbreviations though. Sometimes it feels as if you're forcing the meter into iambic.  (I can't believe I said that!)Other than that... I think you did an outstanding job! A challenge well met! After this, ballads will be a piece of cake! Would you like coffee or tea with that?  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Munda, I agree , and I agree , and I agree . Now that the four of us are in agreement , yes I'll take mine black . Doc P.S. Technically though , this was posted after your substitute term expired , so ... Nyah nyah , ny nyah nyah ! Doc |
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Lady in Red Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 147 |
Careful Doc., she may turn you into a Moose ballad! Tee hee... FYI, We've put terrashare.com out of business with our craziness. Therefore we have moved to a new host: http://stute.freeservers.com Now ride and tell the world about it! |
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