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walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

0 posted 2001-03-24 05:28 PM

My mind,
it's like a whirwind.
My soul,
it's like a tunnel.
My heart,
it's made of paper.
My spirit,
it's like thunder.
My words,
are like blades.
My body,
it's like ice.
At times,
it's just too hard.
Your love,
it keeps me going.
My mind,
you mesmerize.
My soul,
you wrap around you.
My heart,
you turn to flesh.
My spirit,
you consecrate.
My words,
blur out compassion.
My body,
mellows out.
At times,
it's not so bad.

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

1 posted 2001-03-24 07:45 PM

walker,

I like your style here....

To describe one's heart, mind, and spirit....
with so few words is quite a challenge
and you've done very well with it.

I like how your began with at times it's just too hard
and then ended up with it not being that bad. Time
does have a way of changing circumstances that way.

Bob <><

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

2 posted 2001-03-24 08:05 PM

I like the analagies used to describe how you sometimes feel, as well as the piece as a whole.
Thanks for sharing,
Rae

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

3 posted 2001-03-25 07:49 AM

Beautifully done, His Grace is ever a wondrous surprise, the ways He transforms us and makes us new creations in Him!

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.

Stephanos

Member Elite

since 2000-07-31

Posts 3618
Statesboro, GA, USA

4 posted 2001-03-26 10:36 PM

I thought this was very creative. . . especially the pattern that I see. Nice work. Along with the cool form, your poem was very expressive.

Stephen.

[This message has been edited by Stephanos (edited 03-26-2001).]

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

5 posted 2001-03-27 08:48 AM

I have to agree with the originality of this.
It was very creatively done!

When He gets a hold of us and works our problems it sure doesn't seem as bad. Very well thought out, and brought across just as well!

<*\\\><

I know not what the future holds,
but I know Who holds the future.

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD

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