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Spiritual Journeys

as much as I try

Allstaria22
Member

since 2000-06-11

Posts 83
MN USA

0 posted 2001-09-20 11:31 PM

Every morning when I wake up
every night before I go to bed
and every second in between
I try
try to understand Your will
try to imagine Your loss
try to comprehend Your plan
but as much as I try to focus
less on me
and more on You and Your reasoning
I fail
each thought first thing after dawn
is of all I can not have
of the man who does not return my love
of the children my body can no longer have
of a father who cares nothing for who I am
and of the things I always do wrong
And as much as I try to give this all to You
I always hold some back
and allow it to bring shadow
and darkness in to my life
when all I really want is
You.

Isaiah 1:18

"Everybody loves a rose, will you be thankful for the thorns?" -All Together Seperate

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

1 posted 2001-09-21 01:22 PM

It is so hard to understand God's ways, but as kids when Mom or Dad said, "Come outside" (for instance), we went without knowing why, trusting there was good reason. It's hard to accept God's ways at times, yet we know He does all for our best. I'm learning to accept first, and wonder why later...that strengthens my faith. Thanks for sharing your heart. Bless you.
Rae

BSC

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-02-04

Posts 2919
New York, USA

2 posted 2001-09-21 03:33 PM

Such a heartfelt write Allstaria ~ Seen or unseen, He's always there...I've felt so many of the things you have written in this piece, and like Sandgrain, it wasn't until I learned to accept that I truly knew He was there. Thanks for sharing this piece of your heart. Bonnie

Trillium