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loving God pity

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

0 posted 2001-12-20 08:03 PM

loving parents yet...
yet a gift I've wasted
loving God pity.

//should I write yet a gift I have wasted instead? Is 'I've' two syllables?

~Flower lasts so an hour, yet spring will brings her back to life again.
~Just when I thought it is too far away, opportunity knocks the door

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

1 posted 2001-12-21 07:47 PM

I have is the correct way to get 7 syllables .... I've is only one syllable. I like your haiku (Japanese verse) form of writing... and your "written dialect" in my opinion adds to your poetry. Like I interpret your last line as stating that it is a pity that you have not spent more time loving God ... I may be wrong ... but still your words add a little mystery to your poem. God bless. -Bob

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2001-12-22 04:24 PM

(sigh) Another wonderful poem, sweet Eliza! (big hugggssssss) May we all stay close to our loved ones and turn all our pities into hopes with holiday cheer! (kiss on cheek) Another beautiful haiku, sweet friend, your words are always a pleasure to read! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Eliza, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

3 posted 2001-12-23 12:31 PM

The last line I mean to say Loving God pity me.

~Flower lasts so an hour, yet spring will brings her back to life again.
~Just when I thought it is too far away, opportunity knocks the door

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

4 posted 2001-12-23 03:24 PM

Fortunately HE does pity us and all our faults.

Betty Lou Hebert

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

5 posted 2001-12-29 10:25 PM

I love the wsay you say your words. Joyce

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