Failed Communication - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #6

Failed Communication

Mars
Junior Member

since 2000-02-03

Posts 10

0 posted 2000-02-08 11:08 PM

FAILED COMMUNICATION

A door slams shut
Out of sight
Far down the hall
Resonating long
After the act.

Tasting of
Bitter almond
Greasy to touch
A failed communication
No longer of consequence.

Mars

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

1 posted 2000-02-08 11:21 PM

Well having been there before I can see the tension and anger. Well done!

<*\\\><

When you can't make up your mind
Which way is right for you,
Stop and softly ask yourself,
What Would Jesus Do?

Mistikman
Senior Member

since 2000-01-10

Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA

2 posted 2000-02-08 11:50 PM

good poem. It has a nice simplicity to it that I like

I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

3 posted 2000-02-09 07:48 AM

You say a great deal in very few words here, Mars...
"No longer of consequence"... It's sad that we get to that point, isn't it?

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

4 posted 2000-02-09 08:10 AM

Geesch! Your name is mars, and your poem's titled "Failed Communication"....I figured it was gonna be about another NASA screw up?...LOL

Danny Holloway
Member Elite

since 2000-01-15

Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK

5 posted 2000-02-09 03:50 PM

Sounds like a human screw up, not NASA!
If the communication gap could be solved in the game of love, it would be less of a game.
Written to the point, and point made.
Good work!
Danny

Corazon
Senior Member

since 2000-02-02

Posts 1209

6 posted 2000-02-09 04:11 PM

wow, good work, failed communication...just the title says a lot...and the poem follows through perfectly....been there for sure...what am I saying? been there?....I am there....sigh

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member

since 1999-09-17

Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA

7 posted 2000-02-10 04:55 AM

Short and to the point, I like it!

Did Jesus laugh?
I think He did,
'cause He was once
a little kid;
and all of us
were made with joy
both sugar-spice girl
and snake-snail boy!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.