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Open Poetry #7
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~Star Dance Haiku~
| Open Poetry #7 |
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~Star Dance Haiku~ |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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*Well, I like the idea of this haiku, but for some reason the last line seems a bit out of place, or maybe not, I can't decide, I'm really hard on myself. Please share any suggestions with me OR if it's okay the way it is, let me know  ~STAR DANCE HAIKU~ 5-7-5 Oh radiant star! performing your dreamy dance soft thoughts of romance *By Melissa Honeybee* |
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| © Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Witch's Brat Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 100 |
How about "through the darkened skies"? Either way, it is very sweet, Melissa! WB I am a disturbed person, and I write about disturbed people. ~Tennessee Williams |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Witch's Brat - Thanks for replying, I'll take your suggestion into consideration Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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