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Empty tears
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 64

0 posted 2001-03-13 11:46 PM

Do i want to go on
In this hell that we call life?
do i want to deal with
all this pain and all this strife?
I guess that i dont have a choice
of weather to go or stay
for they say itd be too selfish
to leave them behind this way.
But if i were to end it all
would they really even care?
And would they truly notice
if i was no longer there?

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

1 posted 2001-03-14 06:24 AM

Don't do anything rash now! People do care, believe me - oh you HAVE o believe me. There are people who would mourn, and maybe do that same thing you did, just because you're gone.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-03-14 11:28 AM

I'd notice. It would be the loss of a great poet.
I won't claim to know you, but whoever you are, I love your poetry.
So keep living please.

~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-03-14 02:12 PM

It'd be quite sad if you did do something rash, so just do yourself and everybody else a favor and don't do it......it's better off that way, believe me.
Nicely done though...

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Silver Butterfly
Junior Member

since 2001-03-13

Posts 42
Between here and the end

4 posted 2001-03-14 03:36 PM

Decent. The poem holds up. Line four's flow is a little off. It might be better to leave the "for" out of line seven. ooo.. branch says I g2g. Ciao.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-03-17 06:38 PM

People do care, and one of these days, you'll realize that....
If you need to talk to anyone, you can email me and i'll listen

thanks for the read

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-03-17 08:17 PM

People always care. And I'm sure that more people care than you know. Just don't do anything rash. More people would miss you than you think. I like the poem. It has a nice flow and a nice rhyme scheme. Nicely done.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

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