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Teen Poetry #4
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Always
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Always |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl 
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All I hate, Yes all you do. This crazy state, Caused by you. Through my days, I seem to see. All the ways, You complete me. And in the night, I just can't escape. Love in sight, Yet cloaked in cape. It must be you, My endless dream. Never through, A silent scream. I actually have a ryhme scheme!!!Yeay!!! Tell me what you all think. hehe |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MoeRocko Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166West Virginia |
Nice one. sweet and beautiful. OH the poem was great as well Don't turn your back on the future, you have nothing to look back on..... |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked the last lines "It must be you, My endless dream. Never through, A silent scream." great job on the poem.. and wow! an rym scheme  hehe..yea.. anyways..cya~jenn  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Heh, VERY nice with the rhyme scheme! It gave the poem a very nice flow and good feel. I liked this piece, and the last stanza was very powerful! Nice job, Jenn! --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Jenn! Welcome to the world of format! We'll have you writing paradelle in no time!    *ahem* Oh I did like this one a lot, see what rhyme does for our work? It makes us dig for powerful metaphors like "Love in sight, yet cloaked in a cape." Very well done! ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done Jenn! I enjoyed the read a lot. Thought you did great on the poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Thank you guys, usually I avoid rhythm, rhyme, and structure all together. I hate those restrictions...but, every once in a while I decide I need to be a little more organized. Thank you again everyone!! Jenn "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
How'd I miss this one? Beautiful and it rymes. Can't ask for much more I love it Jenn. """ Love in sight, yet cloaked in a cape """ That is my fav line too. Jason |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
I like!!!  "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
well said Jenn. I like the read. keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Thanks Acire, Suga, and Jay. I'm happy you liked it. "If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 05-21-2001).] |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You're welcome "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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