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Dark Poetry #3
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Bereven
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Bereven |
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LadySofia Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238FL., USA 
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I lie awake, keen to the sounds of your breath Softly inhale, then loudly exhale A rhythmic droning never ceasing Sigh! My dreamboat may never set sail Time continues to whisper softly Its voice a steady tick, tick, tick Deep down I wish for flesh and quiet eyes But I remind myself he's sick Dawn approaches me, a faint line of blue The light streaming forth from depths unknown The man that lies beside me Slowly awakens, and begins full-blown His voice berating my gentle ears Had only just relaxed their guard Stings the eyes that had watched your chest Rise and fall with the music of a bard I leave be, yet ever still a tempest hidden Mayhap soon released of its confines As my eyes flutter to the window It is a sign my soul yet pines [This message has been edited by LadySofia (12-19-2001 01:09 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Amanda Piatt - All Rights Reserved | |||
Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Strong images, excellent onomatopoeia, and a conveyance of feelings; I'd say you've got it down. You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb |
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LadySofia Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238FL., USA |
Thanks sweety for posting; this isn't one of my best, really. But when you lie awake through the night and your signifigant awakens to utter befoul words...the poem afterwards isn't normally bright with sunshine! lol ^_^ LadySofia madam, you have bereft me of all words —Shakespeare> |
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