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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-08-29 07:13 AM

sand
  sinking
    sandal
      steps--

(disappearing in the grain)

            sand
              simple
                soldier
                  slept--

(imagineering lack of pain)

                         sand
                            sorted
                               simply
                                  swept--

(engineering what remains)

                                       sand
                                   slipping
                            sleepiness...

(volunteer my blood--as rain...)

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (08-29-2002 07:40 AM).]

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-08-29 12:29 PM

"Your voice sounds like tiny little rocks, and they're biting, hitting, leaving marks and blood."

Until dust...

Mike

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

2 posted 2002-08-29 12:35 PM

brushstrokes
each similar
but making different pictures
zazen
Karen
blood as rain
sandwoman
b

Dragon Mistress
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 289
Washington, USA.

3 posted 2002-08-29 03:05 PM

Wow..This was good!
-Tanya

~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2002-08-29 08:03 PM

ah...thanks for reading, but this was just sort of an experiment--yer all so gracious even about me garbage!

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

5 posted 2002-08-29 09:42 PM

Always enjoy these small pepples of you...grand as they are in your form sweet sis!

miss you and your experimenting..specially since you don't wanna 'speriment over to Cali...*winks*

get my email or WHAT???? grins.

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-08-30 12:32 PM

Now, more than ever, I need to learn how to hack e-mail!

Moon Dust

Member Elite

since 1999-06-11

Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

7 posted 2002-08-30 03:25 PM

kwel you should experiment more often then

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

MidnightSon
Member

since 2002-05-15

Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars

8 posted 2002-08-31 03:43 PM

kind of sad and peaceful...

but the liine i liked best was "engineering what remains".
indeed.

it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

9 posted 2003-08-24 10:45 AM

an experiment, she says . . .
*shaking head*
would love to be an assistant in your laboratory
xxoo

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

10 posted 2003-08-29 04:45 PM

When I read this the soldiers in the sandstorms in Iraq is what came to mind, and also building something that's not on a rock...no solid foundation, will crumble. I love reading you. It's always an amazing ride!!! And I don't even have to buy season tickets..how good is that!?!?! hehehe

Shara @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

[This message has been edited by SharaRose (08-29-2003 04:46 PM).]

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

11 posted 2003-08-29 06:46 PM

the astecics(sp??) are very pleasing, not to mention it is a good write

"There never was a genius without a tincture of madness."

click1
Member

since 2003-03-25

Posts 152
usa

12 posted 2003-08-30 06:27 PM

I liked the pace of this one...it was sad and good all at the same time,for me,as I read ...

Thanx!

Click

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

13 posted 2003-08-31 02:30 AM

I'm with Sue on being your assistant in the laboratory...man the three of us could mix some stuff and watch it explode...hehe

This was different Serenity, but I really liked it!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

14 posted 2003-08-31 04:16 PM

Karen,

The form, rhyme and rhythm were amazing as always. The meaning, as I see it, was scary..you know the military motto...never volunteer..

Susan

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

15 posted 2003-08-31 07:02 PM

What a punch.. the ending line, wow..

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

16 posted 2003-09-01 12:34 PM

Very nice. I enjoyed it as well.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

17 posted 2003-09-01 04:48 PM

wow.

You all are too kind.

Y'make me wanna play in the dark more often.

smiles and hugs,

and I hope to return the favor of reading soon--my apologies--I'll be back soon.

er. I hope.

thank you

Lady Godiva
Junior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 35
at the bottom of your glass

18 posted 2003-09-04 05:45 PM

far from garbage methinks....I've fallen off my horse again..help me

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

19 posted 2003-09-04 11:27 PM

Damn yer good!
Love ya lady!
~Hugs~

~ Summer can't be over...
I still have sand in my shoes ~

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