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Dark Poetry #3
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the most inhuman game
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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the most inhuman game |
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xkiss_me_hardx Junior Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 13 |
I'm so insecure I scare myself. I always let these insecurties float up to the top and somehow they mess everything up and try to destroy everything I care about. There's something wrong with me. Heres another song some parts are supposed to be whispered, others screamed and it's all about how insecure I am and how I seem to damn myself (thanks to shakespear for his sonnnet that I threw in there) The most inhuman game breathing lighter fumes, waiting for your lungs to ignite. Expecting the illness, while staring at the dejected. lets flick the wheel one more time, lets watch the sparks fly, expecting remission, a package with the most beautiful wrapping paper. "What potions have I drunk of Siren tears, Distilled from limbecks foul as hell within, Applying fears to hopes, and hopes to fears, Still losing when I saw myself to win!" rub your eyes until they are raw, watch as your angel wings wizen, and your halo falls with unholy resonence... "that which always echos" when you try to sleep watch as the moon dilates, and the grass falls into... I saw myself to win taste her as she crucifies herself in your eyes, and laughs at their reflections. Feel the amber light as it forces your eyes shut, feel the healing coming on, as the inhuman game starts over again. |
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mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
go back, go back to that day, when all was but nay.When flowers owned the summer breeze and thoughts had no strings and time simmered, as we felt comfortably lost, for you see we did not know. Insecurity is time induced. Like shackles around our personalities. Always go back, seek reference, before changes ( were made with you ) and bring that back with you. We are only subject to our own will. Very nice poem. mysticpoe If nothing is something |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
i thought this was a good write, what you wrote. i understand why you put parts of shakespears's sonnett in there, but i believe poetry should be your own, and what you wrote of your own was good, but i think it would have more impact if you subsituted shakespears words for your own... "in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums" |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
hmm...very good. True poetry. I liked how your put shakespere in there..but I think it could stand well on its own. I could relate...I also am insecure. ~Lex  |
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