Open Poetry #13 |
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In You |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England ![]() |
In You When I walk in the shadows you bring me light Illuming the darkness and banishing the night I reach out my hand and whisper are you there? You reply I am, then treat me with tender care I fear nothing while I’m held close by your side No dangers threaten or terrors in darkness hide You are the reason the song has a melodic flow In you the stars have a magical and strong glow When I hear loneliness that beckons me by name Calling me to come and live with it once again I reach into my heart and you are waiting in light You are the sunshine that makes my world bright I can pass by the darkness it has no lure for me No despair can sigh or bring me to cry constantly You are the whisper that echoes within my soul In your spirit I can bathe and be made again whole When I feel that the ice of fear blowing my way Freezing my soul and turning black the clear day I reach for you as you sit quietly within my heart You breathe your tranquility shattering fear apart I feel fear dissolve like ice heated by the suns’ rays No terrors remain I’m safe not lost in fears maze You are the spirit that lifts and ignites my wings In you my heart has found a whole chorus it sings Marsha Take back the hope you gave,- I claim |
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© Copyright 2001 Marsha Grace Melody Todd - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mushy~ I think this is one of your very best! So soft and positive... Ilove this! And I'm keeping it ![]() |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
![]() my Marsha's back.... {~,^} |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
Marge, This is ok but I get a cloying, sadly, desperate feeling from this. May I suggest that instead of using couplets try writing quatrains with an abab etc. rhyme scheme - such as: Then adjust your line to make the meter/beat flow properly and you can get away with saying the same thing(almost) without it sounding desperate. See what I mean? I hope that helps you a bit. Thanks for sharing this. Panne When I walk in the shadows you bring me light I reach out my hand & whisper are you there? Illuming the darkness and banishing the night You reply I am, then treat me with tender care I fear nothing while I’m held close by your side You are the reason the song has a melodic flow No dangers threaten or terrors in darkness hide In you the stars have a magically, strong glow |
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Sven![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
this is wonderful love. . . it's so nice to be able to see you here. . . taking time for us. . . ![]() ----------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Brad Majors![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
Beautifully written. I am no academic so look to paynes response fro that one. Very nice ![]() |
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Interloper![]() ![]()
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Welcome back Marsha. Well done! Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Good to see you I was beginning to worry! This is a fine piece, Marsha. Kathleen Blake |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MARSHA~ It IS Marsha, isn't it ? Seems someone above has mistaken me for you - LOL ! Well, girly ... I'm gonna take that as one heaping compliment ! ! ! ![]() Now ... this is so you ... and lovey ... it's perfect ! We know our MarshaGal~ Love n' hugs for this thought - 'You are the spirit that lifts and ignites my wings In you my heart has found a whole chorus it sings' Sing on, sweet poet ! It's soooooooooo good to see you sneaking in here when you can. ![]() *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
I've been away for a while but its good to come back and see your wonderful work again! ![]() "Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our |
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Waseem Cheema Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369Pakistan |
Marsha.........very goog Carry On I love to nice poetry. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
hey little MM Nice musings sweetie, this is fab ![]() ~HUGS~ Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Circe love, thank you so very much love, always you reply, and these days when I can spend so little time in here it's nice to know that I'm not gone and forgotten. Take care love, and enjoy life I will be back more I hope this time will cease, and I shall return to my haven Love and warm stuff Mushy ![]() Kari dear heart, thank you so very much, you know that when I get the chance, I will be here at my home. Oh how I want to stay at home, with my sisters, and listening to your words. For that I would sit quietly and drink it in, the Bloomsbury set, hah! the Poetic set, would have the best writers ever. And yes love, the tea, the oast house and poetry what more could I hope for. Well, maybe some strawberries and cream, but this being Kent, we are swamped by them. Take care love and warm stuff ![]() Puck ![]() Panne, I'm sorry, I've tried that style, and although I can do it, I'm not that keen on it. I don't think it's flow is quite right. I prefer a certain beat in my own writing. This is an example of that style from ages ago and I think I've grown past it Whispered breath strokes my sensitive ears Lifting your chest to graze my alabaster breast Taking mere seconds and lasting for years Making a torture of this respite of soft rest Gazing in wonder my love overflows in tears Your laughter echoes within your teasing chest Touches that tantalize and hands that tease You lead and I follow in this lovers kiss chase The fires of desire lie quiet as we take our ease My love I know you want to speed up the pace Your heat translates to me and I whisper please Flames that were slumbering leap and then race Desire flares as heat sparks from you to me Tasting the intoxicating wine in your lovers kiss I'm drunk on your kisses and who wouldn't be With flames leaping between us at just a kiss Is this the reality of loves fire? Loves mystery? My heart is aflame and it's you that summons bliss Marsha As I say I can write in that format, but this was in a format I personally prefer. Thank you for the considered opinion I do appreciate it. Marsha ![]() AD dear heart, always love you are there, thank you so muchly. I'm hoping that things will begin to settle down, I'm keeping my fingers crossed anyway. So if it does happen I shall be able to slip in here a little more often. Take care love love and warm stuff Bubbles ![]() BM, thank you love muchly appreciated, in days gone by I was a much more frequent visitor, and it's so nice to see some truly fine poets among the newer members since I was last here Take care Marsha Kathleen dear sister, Oh how i've missed you sweet poetic sister. Keep flying high love, you are doing splendidly Take care love as always and remember I will always have time for you, just send me an E Love and warm stuff Phoenix 1 aka Mushy ![]() Margie girl, thank you so muchly dear heart. Nooooooo you know Panne mistaking me for you just shows me that he/she doesn't know your work love. You always write sooooooo beautifully, if they knew Margie like I know Margie girl they would know that I'm just a candle to your sun. And I'm not jealous because your beauty is utterly amazing. If you were a lesser person or not so incredible then maybe I would be, but as neither of those conditions applies then no I'm not Thank you dear heart, for all that you give me. Love and lots of warm stuff sister of mine Mushy ![]() Eagle one, how nice to see you again, I too have been absent more often than not these last few weeks. I can only get in for little flying visits. Today is slightly different, the holidays coming up it's not so frenetic here. Says me with my fingers firmly crossed Thank you muchly love Take care love as always Mushy ![]() Traci thank you so very muchly love, you have no idea how much I miss being among my family. Although I think you may well have a clue. ![]() Take care love as always MM ![]() ![]() WC thank you so very very muchly I truly do appreciate it Take care Marsha ![]() Take back the hope you gave,- I claim |
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