Open Poetry #13 |
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Stir |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095![]() |
I am a shadow drowning in the flow of your eyes struggling to stay afloat the golden ripples of your gaze indifferent gently I wavered like a leaf into your green beginning becoming light burning with life a sudden burst of orange but through the rush of your fleeting all dry and fleeing like Autumn my glistening happened to blacken and I faced the darkness of wintered days without you beloved and without you in this blur of life I will stir the flow of your eyes |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree--Sad poem...you are bright though, girl...not dark....I'd turn off the fire under that pot of green eyes. This is a very well expressed emotive writing. |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
My kind of poem....filled with colors, emotion and terrific flowing words. A very nice read aloud work. Liked it very much. Mike |
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cruz Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282Dallas,Texas USA |
a lot said in such a short poem. i like how it starts off sad, then there is a sign of life in light. but it seems as though it goes downhill from there; in the depth of the sadness. some awesome feeling here. nice work cruz |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hugs Baby Roo... I've already said what I think about this ...suffice to say - it's MARVELLOUS. Love ya ![]() All obscurity starts with a danger: |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is so sad, but beautiful as only you can write--a poignant piece here, my sista! I loved the imagery of season's and the symbolic colors. Quite remarkable. ![]() |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Satpsyche Mmy--- good to have you back... ![]() There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
WOW DA i like the flow and the words stirred me for sure |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Stir, and the reflection is pulled beneath the whirlpool. This is a very beautiful poem, with an almost hypnotic flow, and a haunting touch of fatalistic sadness to it, Maree. I loved it, as usual an excellent work. ![]() "The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty." |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
This is beyond my words. I loved it, and welcome back. ![]() still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thank you all so very much for your lovely replies and for taking the time to stop by and read ![]() Maree |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You create such lovely poetry with such simple words. How, I don't know. That's why I'm trying to bug Kamla to help me out a bit ![]() ![]() acire "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. [This message has been edited by acire (edited 04-25-2001).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed the life and energy in this poem...James |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
See what I found!!! A beautiful poem written by a lovely person.... I've missed reading you! ![]() |
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Coal Surrender Member
since 2001-04-01
Posts 84U.S. |
This is grand, from beginning to end. You tweak the heart, ardently! Coal |
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Interloper![]() ![]()
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Good read, thank you ![]() Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Good to see your muse is working again, it was only resting for more of these!! I loved this, it had a meloncholy feel to it. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Wow *M* this is such a beautiful piece of your beautiful words - so deep, melancholic and serene coloured with emotion! Well done! The quality and depth of your work never ceases to surprise and amaze! Jen! ![]() |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Acire, thanks so much for your lovely words and compliment ![]() Oh and you may bug me anytime ![]() James Michael, thank you so very much, glad you liked ![]() Aawwww Thank you so much Sharon for your lovely reply ![]() Coal Surrender, I tweak the heart? That is nice to know ![]() Thank you. Interloper, Thank you and you're welcome ![]() Irish Rose, Thanks so much hon, yes my muse did rest for a while but it looks as though she wants more hehe. ![]() Hey J, thanks so much for your lovely reply hon. ![]() ![]() Thank you all so very much for your lovely replies and compliments. Maree |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
O Maree, This is such a marvellous write... Thanks for sharing... Regards, sudhir |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Read again..Loved again..perhaps even more than the first time. ![]() |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
maree-- you already know what i had to say about this...just simply beautiful my sweet friend!! loved this, i do. take care amy ![]() "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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