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Open Poetry #13

darkness (cinquain???)

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

0 posted 2001-03-30 03:35 AM

darkness
I pass the time
counting the cricket chirps
and heartbeats that prepare for your
footsteps

"HEY, DON'T THROW THAT AWAY, I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY!!!" Packratmike

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

1 posted 2001-03-30 05:46 AM

Hi Mike,

This is lovely, enjoyed so much,

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

2 posted 2001-03-30 03:36 PM

short and sweet, lovely!

Corinne

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

3 posted 2001-03-31 11:09 AM

you did it right...

and i enjoyed the read

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

4 posted 2001-03-31 11:48 AM

Superbly sensual! I can feel your anticipation. Very nicely woven!

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

5 posted 2001-03-31 12:28 PM

Thank you all....I have revised and added to this on another thread.

Mike

Panne415
Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 104
San Antonio

6 posted 2001-04-01 05:53 AM

Mike, Very nicely done - built a sort of suspense even. I can see and hear you waiting... I thoroughly enjoyed. Panne

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

7 posted 2001-04-01 01:58 PM

enjoy

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