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Open Poetry #13
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The Captain's Wife
| Open Poetry #13 |
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The Captain's Wife |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
The Captain's Wife The room lay littered, like a reef, With politics and party jokes And business talk of charts projecting Sharp, gray lines with fin-like peaks Lying just beneath The reach for excellence. Into this labyrinth of speech And antique clock precisely spoke And sought its own. It struck, as though a tuning fork, Then moved beyond the crowded room And into the garden. There, amidst the rock and moon-washed sand, And the dark, deep, scented night It found a woman staring at Orion. RMW |
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| © Copyright 2001 RMW - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Just A Woman Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507 |
Oh, beautiful!!!!!! You, Bob, are quite something! 
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Hmm, very intriguing, Bob. Like this one a lot. Corinne |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Just A Woman .... (Head down, hands in pockets, avoiding eye contact...blushing) Thank you mam. Bob Corinne ....I looked up the definition of "hmm" in the dictionary. Intriguing. Bob PS Thank you very much. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
RMW...this cut through the society we know, and into a woman's thoughts of aloneness.... well done! |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
love the construction of this, set the scene and then wop the reader with the ending... very nicely done |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Almost like a scene from a movie with camera moving from room to garden. Excellent visual display! Mike |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Wonderful write, my favorite line though was "It found a woman staring at Orion" That's my favorite constellation and every fall, early winter, I love to stand outside and stare at it. So, that one caught my heart Great read. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
You have such a powerful way with words...leading me thru an evening of proper protocol...being the perfect hostess...the perfect wife...all the way to the woman who perhaps prefers,and misses, a more simple life |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
RMW, Nice scene. I particularly was impressed by your opening 2 lines - wonderfully written those two. Panne |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
truly enjoyed this one! Kathleen Blake |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
I liked this one, Bob. It seemed almost philosophical in a way. Nice work! All writing comes |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Sunshine...jellybeans...mike...dragonpoe......Paula...Irish Rose....and Lone Wolf....Thanks much. I think we agree that time is precious, and distance can be linked....(did I just see Orion wink?) Bob |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
And antique clock precisely spoke ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and so di you... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Into this labyrinth of speech And antique clock precisely spoke And sought its own. It struck, as though a tuning fork, Then moved beyond the crowded room And into the garden. There, amidst the rock and moon-washed sand, And the dark, deep, scented night It found a woman staring at Orion. ================================== this is so lovely.. your imagery is poetry in motion very well done It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me |
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