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Teen Poetry #6

same dream

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

0 posted 2003-07-08 01:17 AM

i walk on clouds of bliss
holding the delicate hand
of an angel i miss

in this all too persistant dream
we walk every where
and no where it would seem

and in the depths of my soul
i wish to relinquish
my full heart in whole

to this precious angel i've found
because to her
my love is eternally bound

Toasty
Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin

1 posted 2003-07-08 11:00 AM

short, but sweet...

I like the 2nd and 3rd stanzas.. wonderful! keep up the good work!

~ toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength." -Francis de Sales.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2003-07-08 06:01 PM

Very well done. I loved the first two stanzas. The last felt a little weak to me though. All in all, great job..
~Lex

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

3 posted 2003-07-09 12:35 PM

Not sure why, but the 2nd stanza really stood out to me...the whole thing was amazing though. I'm quickly becoming a fan of your work.
Kay
PS - thanx for the kind reply

Just wanna be funny,looks like the joke's on me.
So call me Captain Backfire.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

4 posted 2003-07-09 12:02 PM

i liked this, because of the different style it was written in. the content fit the style perfectly. great job.

riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

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