Contained- Chapter 1: "Questions on the Way You Breathe"

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2003-09-06 07:49 PM

Contained
Chapter 1
Questions on the Way You Breathe

Insanity is overrated.
                (Having a twisted )
          Sanity isn't.

       Will you
               choose to listen...

          or
              will
                  you
                      walk
                           away?---

             Will your heart stop beating
                                        at the sound of
                                                              breathing
                                                                           ?

or
will your heartbeat
stop
at the way
you
breathe?

If you
              let me
                     love
                              you
                                          would you
                                                       let me
                                                               chase
                                                               the
                                                                     *stars*
                                                                                 ?

Or would you
                  take me
                              one step
                                            closer
                                                      and
                                                            teach
                                                                      me
                                                                            how
                                                                                      to
                                                                                                 dream
                                                                                                            ?

                                                     What
                                                                   are
                                                                            you?

Where
are
you
?

----------

Well that was torture...formatting is evil, but makes some things look a lot more interesting. I don't think I've done it before. It takes such a long time...(x_X) AND THEN IT FROZE ON ME! I had to start all over...it was painful.

Anyway, enjoy if you can. Please note the format; I did it on purpose. Hopefully, it will work. If it doesn't, I think I'll go and take a nap. Either way, I'm going to take a nap.

And yes, I'm back for now.

-Leah

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (09-06-2003 08:13 PM).]

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

1 posted 2003-09-06 09:07 PM

Leah, i like it, and the thoughts.

got me thinking bout how we react to situations, and people. will we stay, or turn away?

your hard work paid off.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2003-09-06 11:10 PM

wow...I really did enjoy your thoughts in this piece. And yes the firmat made it baeutiful. Nicely said.

Lex

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

3 posted 2003-09-06 11:38 PM

Your time was worth the effort!

This was a great poem. Every word of this one had me glued to the computer screen! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

jaysh
Member

since 2003-04-16

Posts 133
IL, USA

4 posted 2003-09-07 04:30 PM

Yes, the format made it lovely, maybe someday I will decide not to be a lazy and write one with a different format.

      Wonderful job!
            Keep up the great work!


           -

Janna

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

5 posted 2003-09-08 06:06 PM

Thank you all for your kind comments.

Unfortunately, I have my own doubts about this piece, since it's my first in about 5 months or so. I'm a bit rusty, so please feel free to critique anything I post. I need to grow.

Thank you once again!

-Leah

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

6 posted 2003-09-08 06:51 PM

Great write...I really enjoyed this...

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.