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Teen Poetry #6

Warning

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

0 posted 2002-10-31 06:49 PM

I warn you!
I steal happiness,
I break things,
I twist iron bars,
I mess with your mind,
I will make you sad.
You can't avoid me,
You will not be mended,
My venom lasts a life time.
Just a warning,
Because if I want you,
Belive me I will make you blue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah not what I wanted to write but it will have to do for now.

YOUR INSULTS AND YOUR CURSES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM NOT A PERSON ~Staind~

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

1 posted 2002-11-03 11:16 AM

This was pretty good Ashley. Short and to the point. Everyone should come with a warning label,

even if we all have qualities like this. Nice write, post more.

quote:
I steal happiness,
I break things,
I twist iron bars,
I mess with your mind,
I will make you sad.
You can't avoid me,
You will not be mended,

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

2 posted 2002-11-03 06:47 PM

I do agree with knightlyshadows for the second time today...Warning labels are needed. Very nice work! Keep it comin.

Laura

Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-11-04 01:39 PM

Hah, lovely work! I love the exclaimation point on the very first line, brought the poem alive. From then the flow rolled downhill at a powerful velocity.

Really loved this piece, Match.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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