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devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

0 posted 2002-09-20 06:20 PM

        what were u thinkin
        givin my hopes up like that?
        i don`t know who u r anymore
        i don`t care who u r anymore
        i want u to leave me alone
        i want u to go away
        wait you don`t care what i think
        but now..i don`t care what you think
        i hate u so much
        you r a liar
        you r a devil
        you walk around brekin peope`s hearts
        you make them false promises
        then break them with your cruel black heart
        i hate u
        i wish u would go away

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

1 posted 2002-09-21 12:15 PM

ok this poem is called i hate u and but the looks of things people hate this poem!lol no really they do. i`m sittin here replying to my own poem......
you could`ve written it a little better. i liked the subject but not the whole consruction of the thing. basically it in`t up to good poet standars. you totally suck.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-09-21 11:24 AM

Ok well, it's kind of hard to follow a reply like that. You're not a bad poet, that's not the reason nobody has replied to your poem... sometimes it just takes a while before someone comes along and bumps it up the page a bit. You gave this about six hours, that's not always a safe amount of time to get angry about how nobody's replying.

I thought this poem was pretty good. Don't feel so down on yourself, none of us start out like Poe.

Give yourself room to grow with your poetry and you'll find yourself really improving. Maybe you should activate a critique flag, so people can feel free to give you advice on how to improve your poems.

It's in your profile in the member's area. Typically, once you have that up, people will give more insightful replies.

Keep writing and don't get grouchy.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

3 posted 2002-09-21 02:33 PM

thank u for your reply parasite. i know what u r sayin. i just have low self confidence and i feel worthless sometimes. last night i was in a bad mood cause somebody lied and made me feel stupid. i didn`t want to get grouchy but sometimes i do.

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

4 posted 2002-09-21 11:44 PM

who lied to you?
explain thsi to me... but quickly.. lol.

Good poem, don't be so hard on yourself, kid.

take care.

~sara

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

5 posted 2002-09-21 11:47 PM

Liked this poem,
Dosen't it suck when people lie?

~*Azi*~

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