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Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2002-12-06 10:01 AM

Surprise..

I know I haven't been around here. Truth is, I haven't been writing. Bad, bad, I know. I forgot how..theraputic it is..so..here's my latest self-help session.

Barreling backward, I'm blinded in peace,
curves unadjoined to the verse we composed;
Comfort like pretense will snatch me from dust,
thieve me from doubt and its wavering throes.

If you remember the solitude kept,
long nights awakened to dense purple bogs,
I will forgive me for days that I wept
thrashing in loveliness, cold with remorse.

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

1 posted 2002-12-06 10:51 AM

"I will forgive me for days that I wept
thrashing in loveliness, cold with remorse."

I particularly liked the lines... I'm not entirely sure why just yet though. I'll get back to you on it.

I'm glad you decided to write at least this poem.

I need to start writing again too. My brain has been lazy. Damn concussions.

Jaime

i was here

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

2 posted 2002-12-06 11:12 AM

Maybe you haven't been writting, Love. But for sure you haven't lost your touch. Beautiful write Carly. I miss reading from you.

quote:
Comfort like pretense will snatch me from dust,
thieve me from doubt and its wavering throes.

Lovin' that. *nuzzle*

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-12-06 12:12 PM

What's this I see? Dactyllic tetrameter with an incomplete dactyl at the end, a-la-crystal-catacombs?

  Damn girl, get your own meter scheme.

You rhyme all weird.  The last line took me off guard.  Why do you do that to me?  I like to be all smart, I don't like it when you burst my bubble by not rhyming all of a sudden.

You're so mean to my brain, Carly.

And you know, it says something about you when your cathartic poetry turns out such genius.

Always remember that solitude kept. It's not such a bad thing.

Brian

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

4 posted 2002-12-06 08:22 PM

yep carly that was a short but nice piece.i loved the last two lines.very deep..keep it up!

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

5 posted 2002-12-06 09:11 PM

Bash it...? Nah. If this gets anything, it's praise. I know how hard it is to just up and start writing again, and for the first attempt to be anything like this, is a GREAT acheivement. I loved it!

'Rich

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

6 posted 2002-12-15 04:37 AM

Carly~
Sorry I'm a bit late getting to this one.
I really enjoyed this piece. The flow was wonderful.
It really is great to see you posting again,
and I hope you'll stick around for awhile.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

7 posted 2002-12-19 04:44 AM

Wow, as usual this is such a wonderful peice, I just loved the way it flowed, thank you for sharing it with us, it is a most brilliant peice of writing and I really enjoyed the read.

Andrew

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