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Cloaked
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Cloaked |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA 
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I stand unclad in cold façade of stone, My eyes downcast lest passers-by might see A glimmering uncast that may have shown What lies beneath the calloused flesh of me. I stand alone within a clouded pane, Ensconced by shades of calcified obscure. Travails of time run through my tattered vein, Imbrued in concrete wall of life’s endure I stand enchambered by a furrowed sill, Etched gravely now upon once florid brow, With sash held taut unscathed from bitter chill… A shell secure as winter’s leafless bough. I stand in solitude midst bustling wrest, Pulsation’s sound the faintest of discern. As shades of lichened green across my breast, Enshroud all semblances of worldly yearn. I stand in crevices of self impose In wraithlike specter’s resolute disguise. Dare not those passers-by presume suppose Of that which lies behind my languid eyes. I stand defaced neath veils of sanctity, Protective labyrinth of lattice shorn From marrow’s soft invisibility. Sole piece of olive wisp my true adorn I stand unclad in cold façade of stone, Yet passion’s breath still flickers silently. One solitary kindling’s ember shone From far beneath the calloused flesh of me. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Nancy Ness - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Fabulous poem Nan! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Some very nice poetry, Nan. I like how the description of your surroundings was tied in with the description of yourself, the contrast you created was very interesting. Enjoyed reading this. Good pick for submission.  Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. ~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (02-15-2003 03:55 PM).] |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Nan, you've knocked my slippers off with this unbelievable piece of writing. Damn you're good! Huggles and wish I could be with you girls for the weekend. Thinking of you all. Luvs, Marti 'I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.' |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
wow..this is suberbly written.the imagery of everything was very strong, kind of like it was physical in my mind...anyways. this was a wonderful piece. Regina "heaven truley knows that thou art false as hell...one that loved not wisely,but too well..she swore..'twas a strange ,'twas passing strange"-othello |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"I stand unclad in cold façade of stone, Yet passion’s breath still flickers silently. One solitary kindling’s ember shone From far beneath the calloused flesh of me." Such a wonderfully vivid piece.. I love the whole jist of this piece, and the last stanza is the best!! Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Absolutely fantastic first class poetry Nan. I have learned to expect nothing less from you. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh my yes!! I do like this one a lot.  |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
This is simply beautiful, Nan. I enjoyed reading it very much....... Yep...the book!! "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (02-15-2003 01:06 PM).] |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
My vote is cast for this. Very well writ. |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
I swear it must be a crime for someone to write this well. Again, this is another WONDERFUL write. Brava! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Yay!!! Oh Nan, this is beautiful, sweet friend, I could feel the serenity, the breath of fresh air, the ring side seat to this comfort, and I just love your imagery here to captivate it! (kiss on cheek) This is breathtaking, sweet friend, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Nan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Absolutely perfect!!!! This one gets my vote for sure I think this is my favorite of all of yours |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is absolutely fantastic!!! Maree |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Nan - hi you, you have my vote... BC |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smile...not just skill here, but artistry. You take this metaphor and it's like looking at a gemstone through a loop... frank admiration, Nanners... |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
And also mine. |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Nan~ A masterpiece of poetry. If I could vote more than once for this poem I would, I would believe me...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" [This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (02-16-2003 02:17 AM).] |
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dhicks03 Member
since 2002-12-26
Posts 267Missouri,USA |
Wow, gets my vote too. Very nice! |
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Peter J Marcroft Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265York, England |
Very very good, slighty creepy and dark, nice atmosphere and good rhyming structure |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Well, you already know that I love this one. It's definitely one of my favorites of yours. An excellent write. Hugs to you, friend. "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is amazing! So well done, Nan..voting here.  |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Gladly I'll give my vote to this beautiful piece Nan. Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I didn't understand it, a little to deep for me. But nonetheless... I am living proof that ghosts exist. Which is an oximoron but I don't care ;) |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Thank you all very much for taking the time to stop by and enjoy.. and a special thanks for your votes... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
A phenomenal piece Nan ... I love this one. An excellent submission for the book, my friend! Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
A wonderful poem Nan, thanks for sharing |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Sheer poetry. Definitely one to be read again and again... Warm hugs, Linda |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
Very cool poem. Enjoyed the whole thing! Anyone can write, But only poets can capture the heart. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Love how it carves itself away, here. |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Hey, I loved your seven quatrains of iambic pentemeter... Though I loved it in a morbid statuesque kind of way, you're still the best in my book and of course you got my vote for sure. -Bob |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
but of course... you, the poet... Regards to you, Sudhir P.S. hi teach, how r u doin'... hope my absence from school hasn't given me too much homework...  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this explains why some teach and some clean erasers The vocabulary alone in this is just so impressive...and the rhyme leaves me giddy  " ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ... |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Nan, Makes one look deeper inside. Excellent write. Gets my vote.If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Excellent. Classic Nan! |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
ive read the two submissions by now, in consecutive order. the spuddlin' one and this now. and i see two sides of a poet, both sides worthy of a page in the anthology i think. there's always time to laugh, and there's always room to cry too. |
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Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
hi nan pretty poem |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
This knocked the socks off me. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Exquisite... Smiles2uPoetFriend Nan... *~coco~* |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I don't have words to do this justice. *S* But I do have a box to check. *S* |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
A flickering little flame perhaps, but a flame all the same. A shade to the dark for you. Enjoyed |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Nan - you writer of beautiful contabluiosly fatagratedly poetry are just wonderful. What would this book be without your writing... BCI |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Nan - You are so deep - and so beautiful. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
...*click* ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Nan, Take your time in the shower, I'm just going to read this one over again. Got to be one of your best ever. Liz |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
reminded me of DeVines challenge. Beautifully descriptive...so well written M |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Nan, I not only like it but crown it an epopee. [This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (02-21-2003 11:51 AM).] |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ You polished the stones brilliantly ... the gem is remarkable~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I stand to applaud. A very fine poem Nan. JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Excellent, Nan...excellent. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You've got my vote! This is an exceptional piece of writing, Nan! Well done! |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
My vote too. This is a gem. (Do I vote right here?) |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
Oops. sorry for the multi-posts, I didn't realize this until I clicked on the last page. Hope the moderator deletes the extra posts. [This message has been edited by jjote (02-25-2003 11:36 AM).] |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
You get my vote, Nan. This is a gem. |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
sHow did I miss this? Wonderful. Joyce |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
excellent work Nan Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Inspired. Voted. Susan |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
There's much more than an ember burning in there Nan. Outstanding writing. |
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