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Open Poetry #27

a crush

daniel_martin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-15

Posts 30
london

0 posted 2003-06-22 05:28 AM

um, yeah.

i wrote this, and wondered what you guys would make of it, as it reminded me of the general content here.

It's a rarity, as i seldomly write romantic poetry. It's short, perhaps sweet.

My thoughts record the footage of my dreams
and so each night I find I dream of you.
Stapled eyes stare more boldly than in day,
Thus a lunar epilogue seals itself
upon my hopes,
when we kiss the morning in.

JilGirl
Member

since 2003-05-24

Posts 364
Washington

1 posted 2003-06-22 07:01 AM

An enjoyable "love story" write! I especially like:

Thus a lunar epilogue seals itself
upon my hopes,
when we kiss the morning in.

"When we kiss the morning in." Such a touch!

Blessings!
Shirl

Till oceans cease to flow and deserts lose their sands, may beauty surround you every day and wealth be in your hands.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2003-06-22 09:44 AM

'kiss the morning in'

enjoyed the imagery

daniel_martin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-15

Posts 30
london

3 posted 2003-06-23 10:04 AM

it's been said of this, "pretty, but that's all"

i'm beginning to agree.

cheers for the feed back guys.

danny

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-06-24 05:49 AM

good writing, I enjoyed the read, the last line said it all

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

5 posted 2008-08-13 01:33 PM

Nice Write

ARCTIC WIND

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