»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
The Fall
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
The Fall |
|
|
rockbabe Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 105 |
As pain courses through my veins, Like lava down a volcano I see myself falling, Falling deeper and deeper Down a cliff of darkeness The fall is so intence I see my life flashing before my eyes With each meter I feel my skin tearing open The gravity of the fall does not coincide with my body. The pain, slicing through my skin like a saw through wood. The fall seems endless.... The pain intences, the closer I get to the bottom Right now getting to the bottom feels like the only way to end the pain. |
||
| © Copyright 2006 rockbabe - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
stratagem888 New Member
since 2006-02-15
Posts 4 |
Such despair |
||
|
deadkiss Junior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 31washington |
ahh the searing pain of falling and waiting for the end to release it. the mentions of pain get a bit repetitive to me, because it seems like it starts to say the same thing alot, perhaps if you can start to explore a little what caused the pain? so we see how you started falling? might bring more, but a rather descriptive and nice piece. |
||
|
rockbabe Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 105 |
Thanks for your comments it is much appreciated... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
