Why Didn't I Die? - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #7

Why Didn't I Die?

sometimesitslonely
Junior Member

since 2005-12-27

Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-02-20 11:10 AM

You lied to me,
you said you'd kill me,
but now I'm alive,
soaking in my misery.

Why didn't you tighten the rope?
Cut away my love and hope.
I don't need my sanity,
you've got the best of me.

I hate you for not taking my life,
I give up and my love subsides.
Damn you for leaving me,
life could never be forgiving.

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

XxnoraxX
Member

since 2006-01-24

Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

1 posted 2006-02-20 12:17 PM

That was a wonderful,

, write!!! keep up the GREAT work!

p.s. that cool thing is awesome!!!

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

2 posted 2006-02-20 01:13 PM

thats spectacular writing. it has a nice beat and flows well

Where your heart lays is where you belong.

xolilmiztutuxo
New Member

since 2006-02-27

Posts 3
D-town *:* ma*:*

3 posted 2006-03-06 07:13 PM

tat really good !?! i like it alot totally relatable!?!

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

4 posted 2006-03-07 07:00 PM

… I’m going to be honest, it’s depressing!

The other thing is, “you said you’d kill me but you lied”, you want to get a little more depth to the reader and explain why that person is going to kill someone?

It has good flow though…

Keep writing

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