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Aroura
New Member

since 2006-05-24

Posts 5
ohio

0 posted 2006-05-24 03:11 PM

you stood beside me
when i was down

you helped me up
when i fell down

you gave me life
when i was dead

you gave me breath
when i couldn't breathe

now your heart is breaking
i have to watch you cry

so tell me what to do
to help
my sister
my life
my best friend
i love you

Edward Grim
Senior Member

since 2005-12-18

Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina

1 posted 2006-05-24 03:21 PM

Welcome to PiPs Tia. This is a very nice poem. I can relate to it very well, as I have two sisters myself. If I can make one minor comment on the first two stanzas. The first two are very similar and could possibly be condensed into one stanza. It’s a little thought I had, no big deal. I look forward to reading more of your beautiful poetry. Cheers - Ed

Aroura
New Member

since 2006-05-24

Posts 5
ohio

2 posted 2006-05-24 03:22 PM

thank you very much i appreciate the advice

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

3 posted 2006-05-24 03:23 PM

Beautifully expressed sentiment Tia. Welcome to Passions, I hope you enjoy yourself here.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2006-05-24 05:02 PM

Welcome to Passions Tia!
Enjoyed your first post.
I know you will love it here.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Trace my body with your words,
in doing so, you touch my heart ~

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2006-05-24 05:05 PM

welcome
this is a nice warm hug
for your sis

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

6 posted 2006-05-24 06:54 PM

Please, check your email for a special greeting...WELCOME hope you enjoy your time here...
Greeneyes~

And so it those we live with
and should know who elude us
But we can still love them
we can love completely
without complete understanding

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2006-05-24 10:03 PM

welcome to Passions!
Loved this first poem!

picturegramic
Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 112

8 posted 2006-05-24 11:11 PM

A loving sisterly write.
Welcome

picturegramic :)

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

9 posted 2006-05-25 12:02 PM

Nice...reach out...even in times when you can't feel happiness, you can feel love...James

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2006-05-25 07:12 AM

Welcome to Passions, Tia!

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Aroura
New Member

since 2006-05-24

Posts 5
ohio

11 posted 2006-05-26 07:22 PM

thanks yall *smile*

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