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Open Poetry #39
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Haiku (Hunter INclan)
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Haiku (Hunter INclan) |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Solitary doe silently watches me nap wrapped in autumn arms I slave all year for this moment.... INclan |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
INclan, What you wrote is a delight but I think a haiku is a 5 7 5 meter. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
...and what a divine moment that be! Beautiful!!! Warm, autumnal hug, EA |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
InClan~ 'Solitary doe silently watches me nap wrapped in autumn arms' And in 'this moment you have word-captured a prize that makes it worthwhile~ I ADORE reading you~ You perfect the art to a 'T'~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
I enjoyed this whether or not it's technically a correct haiku. I know little about them other than 5-7-5 is a haiku and 5-7-5-7-7, a tanrenga. I think that's correct, anyway. I have to ask is your Critique message Confucius? "Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it."  "The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun." One God by The Beautiful South |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Thank you all for pointing out the syllable difficulty. It seems the server editor deleted the empty space between my third of three lines and my personal comment. I apologize for the confusion. Marge, my hero, caught the meter correctly. Thank you, Marge! I have corrected the mis-print. Triskadekaphobia....It is the Bible/Proverbs, actually. Thank you to ALL my friends for responding. Best Regards, INclan |
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Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
Ahh, there was no confusion for Marge as she is not a moron like myself Excellent haiku. "The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Love it! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
AWESOME!! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
quietly beautiful INclan |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Just  -ing ... cause it's soooo beautiful~*Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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