She Wept - Limerick Challenge

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Spiritual Journeys

She Wept - Limerick Challenge

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

0 posted 2001-04-01 10:11 AM

As she gazed at her Beloved Son,
she wept to see what man's sins had done.
The sins of all He bore
Thus Hell for them no more
As Eternal Life for these He'd won

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

1 posted 2001-04-01 12:06 PM

It is the blessed Easter Season. Joyce

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2001-04-01 05:20 PM

It's all there in 5 short lines!

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

3 posted 2001-04-01 05:24 PM

Wonderful! I'm so enjoying these.
Rae

Stephanos

Member Elite

since 2000-07-31

Posts 3618
Statesboro, GA, USA

4 posted 2001-04-01 11:14 PM

Aren't limericks great for sharing a contemplative truth? succinct and pithy yet powerful!

thanks for sharing this one mentioning the sorrow of his mother of whom it was written "a sword shall pierce your own heart also".

Stephen.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-04-02 08:14 PM

Hmm... I did enjoy this one, although I don't think the feel of it was very limerick. Watch the tenses of your wordings and syllables, try to make it a bit more in-format. I think Stephanos mentioned this in another thread.
Still, a great poem, be it a limerick or not.

~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

6 posted 2001-04-02 08:17 PM

I agree Allan, but i couldn't figure out what it needed..any ideas?

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

7 posted 2001-04-02 10:36 PM

Very nice, says it all.

2dalimit
Member Elite

since 2000-02-08

Posts 2228
Mississippi coast

8 posted 2001-04-02 10:41 PM

Good write. New insight.
Melton

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