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Dark Poetry #3
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You lied...I died
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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You lied...I died |
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a-alibaster Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392
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While I thought happiness embraced me willingly I closed my eyes and my world died. You Lied. While I thought I was safe wrapped within trust I closed my eyes and my heart corroded with rust. I died. While I thought love touched me willingly I closed my eyes my world died... you lied. "There is an alter ego which dwells in every soul..." a-alibaster "I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less, I am tears of pain, tears of Death. |
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| © Copyright 2001 a-alibaster (H.A.R.) - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
Being betrayed by someone dear can be hell ... I can relate to this one ... Nice work  ~verve |
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a_little_girl Member
since 2000-05-08
Posts 307San Alejandro, HI, USA |
Wow...how sad this is...and unfortunate too. One is betrayed by his lover's lies...powerful. **No weapon will pierce my heart, no hand will be raised to harm me as long as I write.** ~a_little_girl |
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bluebrdy65 Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 276Gladys, |
Damn Alibaster I have been there and done that this was a great poem. I know how all this feels yeah you feel like you died at least part of you anyway again great job. Jane |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
very good poem. powerful is just the word i was looking for... San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice thoughts...outright lies hurt but also deception hurts...they lead you to believe they care for you but they are only using you...meanwhile your feelings are growing...and suddenly wham..pop...wham...you are finished man...James |
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firejerm Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 217Springfield, OH, good ol USA |
I believe it would be safe to say that we have all been on the receiving end of this poem at one time or another. Short, powerful, to the point. I hope you showed this to who it was about.  Jeremy "Those little slices of death, how I loathe them." -Edgar Allen Poe |
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WinterTalon Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 141Brooksville, KY, USA |
I have to agree... Very powerful work you've written, there. One day I hope to express as much feeling in my poetry as you have done in this. |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest |
Wow....this one is just one of those writings that hits you between the eyes with how much others actions can sting you. Being lied to is such a betrayal when you have given your heart. Wonderfully written. Thank you for sharing your gift! Oh....I also really liked the way you used...I closed my eyes. Did you mean that you knew instinctively something was not right, but chose NOT to see? Just curious?? |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Stated oh so very well... sigh oh how I know... and it's very well written K Strokes of ink, words, dreams like Waking mountains make intimate conversations With my shadow From 'Words in the Night' by Jeff Geddes |
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a-alibaster Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392 |
I would like to thank you all so very much for your kind words...they always mean so much to me, but right now they mean far more than I could ever tell you!! ...and I think it was illusion who asked about how I used "I closed my eyes..." well dear it could be taken as you thought or as closing my eyes when I dared too close them, when I thought things were alright around me and within my world. Sorry I have not said or posted much the past few days...as you can see I am having some troubles...but I am never far away and will soon return to normal...when normal I am anyways...soon I do hope! thank you again... ali< !signature--> "There is an alter ego which dwells in every soul..." a-alibaster "I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less, I am tears of pain, tears of Death. [This message has been edited by a-alibaster (edited 01-15-2001).] |
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Temptress*Moon Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 240Long Island, NY |
Lies do indeed hurt  I slept and dreamed that life was beauty was thy dream then a shadowy lie? -ESH- |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
*sigh* if only they could see how a lie kills so slowly, well written, sad. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
This is indeed a dark side of love. No one should have to feel this way, but unfortuantely it happens all too often. nice write. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today" ~Broadway Musical RENT~ *Cassandra Roseen* |
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Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
This was good, and I think that lies always hurt more when you dont expect them and you love the person making them. -GIN |
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